While I do not believe that the internet is the right place to vent or complain, I wanted to write a quick post tonight about my not-so-perfect day.
So far, all of my posts have been carefully thought out, but I think sometimes it is okay to incorporate some spur-of-the moment writing as well. If I only post my well polished ideas, this blog will be missing the element of authenticity that I am striving for.
I had a lot of ups and downs today with my blood sugars. Started out at a great number, but then after my workout I was a bit higher than I would have expected. I had a feeling my set wasn't working, but at that point I couldn't tell how much/if any of my breakfast bolus had gone in... so I gave it again. Naturally, I came crashing down a couple of hours later so I had to snack at an odd hour. I felt that I had eaten too much and might spike up again so I bolused a little. But then I joined my coworkers for a lunchtime yoga class- which I had not been planning on, but was more than happy to do! I could feel myself getting low by the end of the sun salutations. It was all I could do to get to savasana, but with shaky muscles and a racing mind, I didn't really get the benefits of yoga from the class today. I rushed back to the office and stuffed my lunch down my throat, but then I rebounded back up mid afternoon. As I corrected for this, I thought to myself I shouldn't give any insulin right now because at 5pm I am going to go for a run, but I was too caught up in the moment of feeling high to listen to my own advice. After work, I was at a good number for exercise, but I still had some active insulin coursing through the system. I suspended my basal and ate a small snack, thinking this would certainly be more than enough. Boy, was I WRONG! I came crashing down midway through the run. It was all I could do to not overindulge in sweets at this point, because I didn't want to completely ruin my appetite for dinner. I have finally leveled out at this point, but I am not feeling that great. So much snacking throughout the day has left me feeling bloated and the roller coaster ride of blood sugars has depleted my energy.
If I were to judge the quality of my day based on my meter log, I would say today was a bad day. But in reality, lots of great things happened today. As I wind down tonight and prepare for tomorrow, it is the interactions with my coworkers, the conversation with my best friend, and the ideas I thought of today that I am choosing to focus on- not my blood sugars. Tomorrow is another day and I will start fresh and try to check in before instinctively giving insulin, but for now.... I am actively choosing to not let those numbers define me and shoot the troubles away with positive thinking. Will you join me?